Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
