I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
