i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
