these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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