shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
