We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
