we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
