PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
