tell your sister to shave her snatch
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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