My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
