I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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