i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't put those talents on a resume
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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