So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
