Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
