I puked a lego.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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