I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So much rum. So many feels.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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