You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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