The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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