There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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