we have officially lost it.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize