So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize