I'll bet she douches with gravy.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
