Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
