New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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