I love black thongs
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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