I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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