I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
