I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
