I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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