u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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