Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
