Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
