Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
