I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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