He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
