He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
