I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
