I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
