I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize