you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Bring me that man meat
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
