Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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