Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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