Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and she was petting her beer can
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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