Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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