Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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