There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize