You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
