she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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