my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
