I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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