Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
