Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
