Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize