Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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