I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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