i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
