he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
