I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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