So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
