i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
