Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
