This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
