look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did i walk over a car last night?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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