I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
