okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
how does that bad decision feel?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
