why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
