i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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