the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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