I CAN MOONWALK!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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