I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This baby is an asshole
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
