Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
